T hey say it takes a village to raise children, but how do you do it when you’re made to stay away from your support system thanks to a global pandemic? With a world of patience and humour mixed with despair, of course. Hilarious moms took to Twitter to share how they were holding their heads above water by looking at the lighter side of life with kids. Here’s a round-up of our favourite ones that left us chuckling.
Her: I’ve been schooling my children at home since last year
Me: Oh, me too!
H: Isn’t it crazy how math has changed?
M: Math? I’ve just been beating their asses at poker and video games.
M: Is that not what “schooling” m-
H: That’s not what “schooling” means, no
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) January 5, 2021
I want the baby to develop some immunity but so far the best I can do is let her chew the dog toys.
— snarkandlemons (@snarkandlemons) January 4, 2021
A kiddo in my sons class “Miss —- I never got to answer a question!”
Teacher: “Oh I’m sorry did you want to help with this problem?”
“No…I just wanted to be asked”
— The Owlbear Tamer (@jesstervonNap) December 8, 2020
The weatherman said there was 0% chance of snow this week so to get my kids to fall asleep last night, I promised to take them sledding today. Because I’m a fun mom who plans ahead.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) January 6, 2021
I’m a “makes her kids wear Christmas pjs all winter ‘cause you can’t let good jammies go to waste” kinda mom.
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) January 6, 2021
As we’re in full lockdown again for a couple of months, I’ve agreed with the kids we’ll all stay calm, talk about things, listen and- STOP YELLING PUT THAT DOWN DON’T HIT HER STOP DOING THAT OH CAN YOU ALL JUST FU- -ully respect each other
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) January 5, 2021
Look, at least only one person peed on the floor today- and other things I never imagined I’d say until kids.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) January 6, 2021
Like those expensive toys my kids got for Christmas, my New Years resolutions for 2021 have already been broken.
— wicked bitch of the MWest (@AmandaRNH) January 1, 2021
They say it takes a *village to raise a child. Thank you, *village.
*Netflix, Disney Plus, and YouTube.
— Mommy Philosophies (@MomPhilosophies) January 1, 2021
*putting my kids to bed*
me: okay girls, important question. if you were starving and had to kill and eat one of us to survive…why would it be daddy?
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) January 5, 2021
The puppy lost a tooth and the kids have been negotiating with the tooth fairy on his behalf, which is really sweet, but I’m not sure he needs a rainbow slime kit
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) January 5, 2021
Our 4yo played Among Us with her brother over break and on the way to school this morning she told me she can’t wait to call emergency meetings and tell everyone she’s the impostor and then kill someone in the cafeteria. So yeah, I’m feeling REAL proud of my parenting choices.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 4, 2021
8: can I play you a bongo & harmonica tune I just wrote
Me: is it silent
Me: then no
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) January 4, 2021
I’m so glad I bought my kid all those Christmas presents so she can sit here and watch other kids play with toys on YouTube
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 5, 2021
Last night my husband told our 3 1/2 year old to eat her dinner and she told him to calm down. I did not possess that level of moxie until I hit my 40s so I’m equal parts impressed and terrified.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) January 3, 2021