Parenting in the pandemic has been an unexpectedly large dose of family time and moms and dads are DONE with it. Amidst the exhaustion and stress of the new normal, the dads of Twitter found themselves flabbergasted while raising their tiny humans 24×7. Some of them have been chronicling their hysterical daily experiences and cries for help. We’ve compiled a list of tweets from dads who just can’t seem to win the battle against their sassy offsprings in this unanticipated fatherhood challenge the pandemic has thrown at them.
Kids really overestimate how much parents want to guess things.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 17, 2020
Check on your friends with toddlers. The toddlers are winning. Send help.
— Joe Briggs, Esq. (@JoeBriggsEsq) May 12, 2020
80% of parenting is replying to your kids “wow, that’s cool” without even looking.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 9, 2020
4: Can we get a cat?
Me: No they make me sneeze
4: Can you go away then?
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) January 27, 2021
3 year old: what are those?
3 year old: you take them cause you're sick?
me: I take them cause I'm old
3 year old: I don't think they're working
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 23, 2021
As I walked into the room, my 11yo immediately shut his laptop.
Me: Whatcha watching
11yo: A video for school
Me: Lemme see
11yo: It auto-deletes when it's done, so I can't
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) March 18, 2021
*takes seatbelt off before parallel parking*
10yo: Dad, if we crash right now and you die, I’ll punch your ghost back into your body.
Me: Okay… but can’t you just lovingly nudge my ghost back in?
10yo: THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 23, 2021
My 4yo refused to let me try a bite of his hamburger and when I asked why he looks me dead in the eyes and without a trace of irony says “coronavirus”
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) January 27, 2021
My daughter’s s new favorite game is called “walk around the table together”. It’s about as exciting as you’re imagining
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) February 25, 2021
11 has spent $30 of his own money buying smart bulbs for his room. he can now turn them on via a remote and change colors. it's like a disco room/playboy mansion vibe in there and i am not ok.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 11, 2021
While playing with my 4yo he put me in a pretend “jail” but honestly as a dad of three that feels kind of redundant
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) January 21, 2021
me, says a million things and one of them comes true: what did i tell you?
— The Dad (@thedad) March 21, 2021
At this point in the pandemic, Youtube could claim my kids as a dependent on their taxes.
— Shannon Carpenter (@HossmanAtHome) February 10, 2021
My 3 year old can’t sleep because his left knee is cold
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) February 10, 2021
My 3-year-old just told me to keep the hoodie on my head because it's better for my face, if you're wondering what kids do for your self-esteem.
— A Bearer Of Dad News?? (@HomeWithPeanut) February 10, 2021