Parenting
15 Tweets From Parents About the Most Preposterous Lies Kids Have Told Them
'"I emailed the teacher but haven't heard back" is the new "my dog ate my homework."'
Who doesn’t want their children to be well-behaved, honest little versions of themselves? But some kids have a special flair for creativity that might result in stretching the truth a bit too far at times. Parenting can be tricky, but moms and dads are impressed by some of the white lies their kids have told. We’ve compiled a list of hilarious excuses and implausible stories parents have shared on Twitter.
"I emailed the teacher but haven't heard back" is the new "my dog ate my homework."
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) January 19, 2021
I'd like to recognize my son for his groundbreaking work in the field of Retroactive Truths. Yesterday I scolded him for lying about picking up his dirty clothes; this morning after tossing them in the hamper he ran up in my face and yelled, "See?!? I TOLD YOU I put them away!"
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 1, 2020
I asked my 4 yo if she’s ever lied to me, and she says, “Only occasionally.” ???
— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) November 2, 2020
My kids, in a last-minute desperate attempt, tried to convince me that the dentist was located in Toys R Us.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) May 11, 2015
I get why it’s important for kids to use their imagination but they be lying for no reason.
My 5 yr old randomly told me he played for the Lakers in 1997.
All I said was “you’re getting so tall”and that was his response.???
— Coach P (@CoachPSays) January 31, 2021
My 5-year-old says she didn't do anything bad with the scissors I caught her with last week.
The latest load of laundry says: That was a lie. pic.twitter.com/sEa1AH7SdY
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 29, 2020
My son lying to his little sister so she isn’t sad about a movie ending reminds me this year has brought them so much closer together and also kids will lie about anything
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) October 22, 2020
When you’re a parent, you develop an acute sense of when your kids are coming down with something.
For example, I can already tell that my son is going to be too sick for school tomorrow but not too sick for us to go fishing together.
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) April 19, 2021
72% of parenting is asking kids how something got broken…and then listening to them lie about it.
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) December 6, 2018
a fun fact about me is that my mother thought i couldn’t talk until i was 4 1/2 even though she was pretty sure i could read
then one day she was tryna eat a snack, and i said “mommy can i have a cookie?” she looked upset so i said “mommy can i have a cookie, please?”
— cyrée jarelle (@cyreejarelle) April 27, 2021
Kid tried to convince me he's allergic to church and can't go.
I'm just jealous I didn't think of it first.
— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma) April 27, 2014
Like an actor phoning it in, only it’s my toddler throwing a half assed tantrum. Her heart’s not really in it, but she’s contractually obligated to have a certain number per day so here we are.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) May 28, 2019
My 3 year old tried to convince me that he injured his knee and it needed popcorn.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) December 11, 2017
My daughter has broken two laptops in lockdown. Last night, she claimed her new laptop wouldn’t turn on because ‘the cat puked on it’. I thought she was lying…
…But she had the receipts. Unbelievable. (WARNING, SICK) pic.twitter.com/qUuk0m2k5c
— Katherine Ryan (@Kathbum) April 6, 2021
