How to Start a Conversation With Sexual Assault Survivors and Support Them in Their Healing Process

“Why now?” It’s often questions like this that prevent sexual assault survivors from sharing their stories. The stigma and fear of not being taken seriously discourages women from seeking justice. It’s never easy to understand and navigate a conversation with survivors when you aren’t sure what they are going through, especially when they’re close to you.

For Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April, we asked Kamna Chhibber, clinical psychologist and Head – Mental Health at Department of Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences, Fortis Healthcare, about how to talk to survivors without gaslighting or triggering them. She shares tips and resources on that can help survivors in their healing process on #ReSetDialogues.

(TW: Sexual Assault)@kamna_chhibber, when abuse survivors open up after years, they often hear ‘why now?’ or ‘I don’t believe you.’ How can we understand the range of emotions and feelings survivors go through that can hold them back from speaking out?#ReSetDialogues

— Re:Set (@ReSet_Everyday) April 10, 2021

As a survivor of abuse there is always apprehension and fear at how one might be perceived. Often lacking support systems, individuals do not open up and feel forced to hide what their experiences have been. There is immense shame, stigma and silence that surrounds@fortis_mhbs

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

As a result often people experience varied #mentalhealth related problems as well. It impacts the basic trust an individual operates with and affects the ways in which people operate within their #relationships, their productivity, their sense of #self#mentalhealth #mindspace

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

So, what can family and friends do to help survivors overcome guilt and shame and address immediate concerns without being overbearing?#ReSetDialogues#SexualAssaultAwarenessWeek

— Re:Set (@ReSet_Everyday) April 10, 2021

The first and foremost thing is to listen. Instead of throwing a barrage of questions at the individual about what happened, how it happened or why it may have been, and casting aspersions around the reasons for the same its important to support the individual by giving them time

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

What is also needed is to create a safe space within which the person can feel a sense of trust to be able to share what they are experiencing. Ensuring this is being done is crucial. At the same time it is important to reinforce their sense of self and discouraging selfblame

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

Finally it is crucial that they be encouraged to make their own choices about how they would like to proceed with things and also seek help from professionals too.#Mentalhealth #mindspace

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

That’s very helpful advice! Often we’re unaware of what can trigger a survivor.
How can we be mindful of the language we use with survivors? What should we avoid saying to ensure we aren’t gaslighting or invalidating their experience?#ReSetDialogues#SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth

— Re:Set (@ReSet_Everyday) April 10, 2021

Its very important to be mindful of the words used to describe the person who is in this situation. It is critical that whatever language one uses it is not indicative towards a provocation by the #survivor of the #abuse.#mentalhealth #mindspace

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

Some survivors are uncomfortable with reporting abuse. Should they be encouraged to lodge a complaint against the perpetrator at the earliest or is it OK if they do it on their own timeline? #ReSetDialogues#SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth

— Re:Set (@ReSet_Everyday) April 10, 2021

Providing information about options is important. Ensuring a survivor is well-informed about their rights and potential courses of action is an imperative. However, the choice to do something and when to do it must be theirs. This is critical in helping them feel empowered

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

Pushing a person to follow a course of action only takes away from their sense of agency in a situation and can make them further spiral. It is unhelpful in the long run as a person needs to be mentally, emotionally and psychologically in a space to do something and have supports

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

What are some ways childhood trauma can manifest in adults? Can one recognize the impact of child abuse at a later stage in life? #ReSetDialogues#ChildAbusePreventionMonth

— Re:Set (@ReSet_Everyday) April 10, 2021

Abuse in any form can impact a person’s personality and temperament. It affects the ways in which they anticipate things to transpire in life. It can take away their basic sense of trust and security which can significantly affect their state of mental #wellbeing.

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

This can leave them vulnerable to developing #mentalhealth related problems later in life. It also shapes their sense of self where they may experience significant self-doubt or may have low self-esteem and confidence in who they are and the choices they make.

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

It is important to seek help and support and be proactive in engaging in #selfcare.#mentalhealth #mindspace

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

There isn’t enough awareness around support for caregivers.

How can caregivers take care of their own #mentalhealth and emotional well-being after a loved one has been abused? #ReSetDialogues#SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth

— Re:Set (@ReSet_Everyday) April 10, 2021

It is important to reach out and speak to discuss the struggles you may experience as a #caregiver. Remember that to be able to provide #support you need to be in good #Mentalhealth yourself. So do the things you need to be able to cope with the experience of supporting another.

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

If you feel you are not in a space to be able to provide requisite support, share the same openly and honestly. This approach is much appreciated. Reach out on a helpline if you are not sure how to take care of yourself. Speak with experts to be able to provide the right support.

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

What are some ways abuse survivors can seek professional #mentalhealth help in India? #ReSetDialogues#SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth

— Re:Set (@ReSet_Everyday) April 10, 2021

Seeking help is an imperative to take care of the #self. It is important to reach professionals as per their comfort and convenience. Currently there are helplines which are running which can provide much needed support. @fortis_mhbs has a 24×7 helpline 8376804102 in 16 languages

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021

Individual practitioners too are available who work extensively in this space. Most importantly even if it may take time to find the right expert to work with, trying to connect with them is crucial so that the journey to recovery and healing from trauma can begin.

— kamna chhibber (@kamna_chhibber) April 10, 2021